Q: Age?
A: 36.
Q: How long have you been in Spain?
A: Since 2004, 13 years.
Q: Do you have kids?
A: Yes, a daughter. She turns 17 in January.
Q: How was your life in Romania before you came?
A: I had a job. I was about to get married, but life is unexpected, and I didn’t, we broke up. I was working as an employee in a shoe shop, it is known in my country. It had just opened, there are shops in other countries too. I had a little girl, eight months old, that I had to leave so as to go to work. I studied, but didn’t find a job related to it. I worked as a waitress and then as a saleswoman. I started working, broke up and came here, looking for a better life for my daughter. We are not a poor country, we have been very rich, but the economic level is below the rest of Europe. So I came here to save money, that was my first idea, but then I decided to stay. After three years, I found a stable job, signed a contract and brought my six-year-old daughter. I was lucky to find a wonderful family that helped me so much. They are like my family. I lived with them for a year, and after that I rented an apartment. Thanks to God I always had a job. Just once, when the crisis arrived, the coffee shop couldn’t afford having many waiters, so I was unemployed for six months. Then I found another job. My daughter was studying so I decided to stay here. The relationship with my family is hard, because you leave everyone: your parents, friends, siblings. It is not easy to leave your country. You miss specific dates. Not the life, because with the years you get used to your new life here, and I’m happy here, I’m decided to stay. I do not have the nationality, but I want to keep on living here.
Q: Many people told us money was not enough to pay for everything there, was it like that for you?
A: I lived with my parents, after I broke up I moved in with them. My salary, 13 years ago, was like 30 euros. But when you have a kid, you have to buy more clothes and things, and life in Romania is expensive. And salaries are low, nowadays too. But we are always looking for something better for us. I had my parents, they helped me with the baby, but people live day by day. With the salaries it is very hard to get to the end of the month. Rent is very expensive, electricity, gas, expenses… One of my sisters had to leave her home and leave the country with her husband and son to look for a job, because salaries are not enough.
Q: Why did you decide to come to Spain?
A: My situation was like this: I broke up with my daughter’s father, it did not end well, I had a sister working here and a cousin too, so I decided to come to Spain. They helped me. But at first, as you don’t know the language, it is very hard to find a job. Most people from Romania understand quite well spanish, because of the soap operas, but speaking is harder. And when you live with someone from your country, you speak everyday in your language. And you start translating and making mistakes, it was difficult. But little by little I could manage, and decided to stay here. When I brought my daughter here everyone said I was crazy, who would I leave her with, what I would do… But I said that a kid’s place is beside their parents. You can’t leave your kid in one country and live in other, no matter how much money you send and make sure she has everything. The love and care of a parent is always necessary.
Q: How did you relate with your neighbors in Romania?
A: Fine, we had a good relationship, with my coworkers, my bosses, my family, siblings, cousins, neighbors. There is always envy, just like here, gossip, people think that if you leave your country you live better. I don’t say it is not like that, we live well, but it is not as they think. We work hard here too, to earn enough, many hours, but at the end of the month you appreciate it. Instead of earning 50 or 150 euros, you earn your salary, you can pay rent, you can give your child a better life.
Q: Do you think that when you go back people judge you?
A: Yes, people think that when you go out you change, and you do, it changes your life, the way you think, it makes you realize many things.
Q: Would you say you are pleased because of your daughter’s situation rather than yours?
A: Yes, she is the reason I stayed. Here, with the crisis, many foreigners left, I would have too, because I have a sister that lives in Germany, she works in a hotel cleaning, and she said that whenever I lost my job I could go there because there were jobs there. I would have gone to another country, because here it was harder and harder to find a job. But you make big sacrifices for your kids. I am pleased, but as parents sacrifice a lot for our children.
Q: Were you conscious of what you would find here?
A: No, I was not conscious. I came without my daughter at first. I had a visa for three months, so after that I had to leave, go back and then come back. So in those three months you save money, buy things for your kids, send money to your family… No, I wasn’t conscious, but the day to day makes you strong. I got used to living here. I stayed because of my daughter, maybe if I hadn’t had her I wouldn’t have stayed, but it was worth it.
Q: What did you feel when you got here?
A: It is as if you were in another world. Buildings here are new, in my country everything is ancient, you stay speechless because it is like paradise. There are palm trees, people are very kind and sociable, they are defensive but it’s normal because you are a foreigner. I came by bus and saw many countries. I had a good feeling, I liked it. At first I missed my home very much, my daughter, my parents and siblings. At first I lived with my sister, she had been here for two years and spoke very well spanish. People tried to help, they see you are a foreigner, I was lucky to find people that helped me and supported me, they taught me how to speak correctly when I made mistakes. It was fine in the beginning, but as the days went by it was harder, because you are far away, I cried a lot, missed my home, I was about to take a bus back home… A lot happened, it is not easy.
Q: Was it hard to find a job?
A: Yes and no. If you know people, it helps. You start cleaning houses, it is the easiest thing, you don’t speak the language. And then I started working as a waitress, first at a coffee shop, then at a disco during the weekends to have extra money. I started working without a contract, and then I registered at the town hall, in 2007 we entered the European Union, I became a resident, and once you have papers it is easier to get a contract.
Q: Did you get help from associations?
A: No, none. I didn’t go to them. I was unemployed. I earned 630 each month but it wasn’t enough for rent, so I worked extra during the weekends. It is illegal, but I did it, so as to have some more. Once my daughter’s school helped me with the books, but that’s it.
Q: How did your daughter adapt?
A: She was six years old, I decided to bring her here and it was tough. She stayed with my parents while I was here. She didn’t want to be away from her grandparents, I was practically a stranger for her. And that for a parent hurts. I brought her, we got a place for her at a school near the house. It was hard, she didn’t know the language, I was working, she stayed at home with my friend. The second trimester of first grade I had to take her home to Romania, because she couldn’t adapt. It was really hard. I took her in April and in June I went for a holiday. I had a bad time during those months. I wanted to be with her but she didn’t want that. But then I decided to bring her back here, no matter what, she was going to stay here with me. And it’s been 11 years since. She’s here with me. She finally adapted, although it was hard. In the morning she was at school and I worked during the afternoons. So I saw her when I took her to school, picked her up, and then late at night. It wasn’t easy. But luckily the family we’re with helped me a lot and still do. They are my family.
Q: Do you go often to Romania?
A: It is hard to go there. You have holidays at your job but I don’t usually go there. I stay here. I want to go next year, spend Holy Week with my family if I can. My father died four years ago, my mom is a widow and is all by herself, so I would like all the sisters to reunite and spend Holy Week together there. Last year my mom came here. You miss all those customs.
Q: Doesn’t your mom want to come here?
A: She comes but as a vacation. She is used to the life there, in our town, we used to have animals, we have a little farm, a lot of land, and someone needs to be there. She only comes to visit.
Q: What do you like best and worst of Spain/Murcia?
A: There is nothing I don’t like. There are all kinds of people, those who reject you, that look over their shoulder, once they said to me that I was occupying a Spanish’s job… But I like everything. People are kind, the festivities of the town, in Romania we don’t celebrate as much. What shocked me the most is that young people start drinking so much as kids. I am all over my daughter about it, and she says to me “mom, let me be, I need freedom, let me enjoy”, but I don’t like it. It is because I haven’t lived through it, and working at night you see many things, things I couldn’t imagine, that maybe I wouldn’t have seen in my country. Even though we are both Europeans, my mom tells me that in Romania it is cheaper to go out for dinner than making it at home, everything is so expensive and salaries are very low. I am much better here than there.
Q: Who did you leave there?
A: I had grown very fond of my work colleagues. We were very fond of each other and it was hard leaving them, it hurt, besides leaving my family. I left my grandparents, I couldn’t go to my grandfather’s funeral. I left my parents, I went to my father’s funeral. You leave people you are very fond of. Friendships, you can have but they change with time.
Q: Are you still in touch with your friends?
A: Yes, with some, through the Internet and I try to see them when I go to my country, have a coffee if we can and talk.
Q: How do you communicate with your family there?
A: With my friends at first with phone calls but then through the Internet. We talked with Yahoo messenger when it started, but then you lose contact. And Facebook too, you find people you shared different moments of your life with. But practically we don’t speak. With my mother I speak every week, phone calls. And now that WhatsApp has video calls we do that too. It is almost as if you are there. We bought her a smartphone and she can manage, although not entirely. My mom is not old, she is 60, and little by little she learns how to answer the phone and text and comment photos.
Q: Are you conscious of the situation in Romania?
A: As a country, we are European, salaries are low, the cost of living is high, there are shops just as here, some cheap and some expensive. You always go back to basic, your everyday needs. What happens in my country interests me, I have a 21-year-old nephew there unemployed, and you care to know how things are. Today I talked with my mother and she told me that there was a protest march because they want to put some taxes to people that leave the country, I don’t know precisely how. And I read some magazines to know what happens. But I am more informed about what happens here than there. My life is here.
Q: Do you think your life developed better here than it would have there?
A: Yes, I learned more here, it opened my eyes, living without worrying about what people would think. Now the way I see life is different. I know that if I had stayed there, I am almost 37, I would look much older, because it is not easy living there. It is not easy because of the everyday life, the poverty you see, it all affects you. If you are not happy with your marriage or something, it affects you very much.
Q: How is your group of friends?
A: I have few friends, more acquaintances. True friends that I can count on I can count them with my five fingers, or less. You can tell when you really need them, there are few. People know you and say they are there for you, but if you need them and they are busy, the “I’m here for you” vanishes. And it just didn’t happen to me because I’m a foreigner, but to everyone. But I have a group of friends that I know I can count on. My friend has many many friends, she is really happy. I said to her “next year you have to go one month to Romania to be with your grandmother and cousins”, and she said “no mom, if you come with me yes, but what am I supposed to do there on my own?”. She has lost the custom of speaking Romanian, because we speak Spanish. She has lost all her childhood friends, except for one girl that she sees when she goes there.
Q: Was language a barrier when you came here?
A: Learning spanish is not hard, you just have to make an effort. If you relate more with people of your country and only speak spanish at work, you speak a mixture. But my friendships are all spanish, so my day to day is in spanish. They helped me and corrected me. To speak perfect spanish took me like three years. But after a year I could manage. It is not hard, to speak or write it.
Q: How often do you go to Romania?
A: In 2013, my father died on February 19th, so I went there the 20th. The next time I went was after a year. I think I went there almost every year, but for a little time, because I couldn’t stop working here, leave the house, leave the pet, I have to adapt to the girl’s holidays… The last time I went was in 2016, my daughter was going on a study trip to London, she had just turned 14, and her ID needed to be renewed. You can’t do it in the consulate here in Spain. So I went to Romania, and it was 10 crazy days, because I had to do the ID in one city and the passport in another.
Q: Did you keep in touch with your co workers from Romania? Do you think they did better/worse than you?
A: Yes, with some. Two of my colleagues had studied stomatology and they could have worked in a lab, but they ended up working as waitresses outside the country. Another one did better, her name is María, she was an orphan, got married and had a kid. She had studied to be a nurse, and she has now been working for several years as a nurse in London. I am very happy for them. I think we learn good things from outside. We had to go out to develop some more, to study and have a better life, and earn more, money is important. I was never in a bad situation in my country, my family has never been hungry, ever. But you make sacrifices for your children.
Q: When you were here alone, did you send them money? Did they send you?
A: My parents were never able to send me money, my mother has always been a housewife. My father had already retired. I sent them money so they did not lack anything. We have a lot of land and it is needed. I sent money so they could buy things to my daughter and so they didn’t lack anything at home. I also sent packages with clothes, things you saw here that you couldn’t buy there. You try to give your kid everything and your family. I sent things you didn’t see there, like chocolates, cookies, clothes, shoes, perfumes, many things.
Q: Did you think about going to another country?
A: No, and I don’t plan to go back to Romania either. I think I’ll spend the rest of my life here, and my daughter too. I am sure about it. My home is here now. If it weren’t for my daughter I wouldn’t be here now.
Q: If you saw a play about experiences such as yours, what do you think it would be like?
A: I think it would be about what people learn as they leave their country, how they evolve in a good way, and in a bad way too. I see some people that come here from Romania and they don’t work, they watch television, they come to steal. And people judge as all in that way, we generalize. People change, instead of working, they do worse.
Q: Do you think Spanish people prejudge foreigners?
A: I was lucky with the jobs I got. I am working now and earn okay. I lived with a spanish family, and they accepted me for who I am, I always showed that I am a good person I am honest, humble. People tend to prejudge, it didn’t happen to me directly, but in general. I never felt rejected. But everyone talks about foreigners that came here. If I am working it is because my boss hired me, I am not taking someone else’s place. You have to work to live and give your child a good life.